I'm not used to thinking "Does this serve me? How does this serve me?". I'm used to focusing on how i can serve others. It feels selfish to ask for things to serve me.
I'm giving myself some previews of the Sacred Feminine Intensive before i dive into it full on. I'm waiting for a few more items for my altar and know that the early mornings will take some adjustment, so i'm giving my body some time to do that. Last night i watched another of the videos, this one on eating during the process.
My issues around food are... complex. I binge, often in secret. I tend to match the eating habits of the person I'm with. This is particularly not healthy when it is my husband - with 120 lbs on me and a distaste for veggies. I also need to factor in time and laziness, as both impact what i eat. I have a total sweet tooth.
These habits don't serve me. Eating too much feels good for a little bit - the high of sugar and carbs! but i regret it the next day on the scale. I know that my eating habits place me at higher risk for health problems. I've experienced cutting out junk and while i didn't feel some spiritual clarity like others speak of, it did reduce my cravings for more junk.
Namaste suggests eating a mostly plant based diet during the intensive and minimizing processed foods. Eating for life & abundance. Since one of the habits i'm working on is meal planning, i feel like this is an opportunity to improve my health & food choices to more mindful ones.
I threw out the half container of grapefruit juice, thanking it for the reminder that i enjoy grapefruit, but acknowledging i don't need the sugar. I threw out the bag of jelly beans, thanking them for indulging my sweet tooth, but i don't need the artificial colors and flavors.
|Today's snack (pistachios), lunch (salad) and breakfast (smoothie)|
I will have beef and dairy with dinner tonight, but on a bed of veggies rather than on a roll, and with a sweet potato rather than fries. I need protein and calcium as the baby grows, but i can make good choices about it. I can put intention into the foods i make.
I will need to keep asking how my food choices serve me, and acknowledge sometimes i will eat things that do not serve my physical self, but give me pleasure. Certainly 2 meals does not mean the end of a journey!