A cake, talk, and meal prep

A Cake!

Here is a picture of the completed cake.  Ian made the sign/flag to go with it.  It's a combination of marshmallow fondant and butter cream frostings, and we used a chocolate ganache inside they layers.

The party went very well - good food, happy kids, really that's all you need.  There were a few near melt downs, but that's expected in this age group!

I had my first unexpected belly touches at the party on Saturday, all from my not-in-laws.  They all wished me well and were happy there will be more babies around this summer.

Afterwards i was very exhausted!

Sunday was not quite as early a start, but it was a very productive day!  I decluttered my desk drawers and a few shelves in the basement.  I had fallen into a common trap - if things are neatly organized, then the quantity doesn't matter.  But having 10 stickers for an organization i don't much care for?  Why?  This process of letting things go is not always simple, but i'm feeling more and more comfortable in my home.  Things feel easier.

I am hoping to spend time tomorrow night moving things to the garage, which will be a base of operations until we hold a tag sale in May.  Right now there are piles in the living room and i don't like that.

Sunday also involved some relationship talk time (exhausting but necessary) and weekly grocery shop & meal prep.  All told i made 11 smoothie packets for breakfasts, 5 snacks, and 5 salads for lunches.  I also made a nice salad for dinner and an actual dinner.  The process is another one that takes a lot of energy and effort but with a great payoff. I eat healthier and have so much more time during the week.  Throwing my "leftover" ingredients into the salad was a great decision i hope to do more consistently going forward.

Alas, a poor night's sleep last night meant i slept much later than i intended to this  morning.  I need to work on finding the balance between getting enough sleep so i feel good and being able to wake up early enough, especially if i am to really commit to the intensive program i'm about to start on.

A Rough Night and a Good Start

Last night Aimee and i stayed up making a pirate ship cake for Connor's 4th birthday.  I can't believe he is turning FOUR!  Where did the little baby who made my heart swell go?

On the way up north, what should have taken 30 minutes took nearly 2 HOURS!  Traffic crawled and people were driving aggressively in response.  I also felt myself getting agitated, having to pee, having no option but to ride through the traffic.  My phone's prognosis told me i would get there faster if i walked!

I am still in the sort of prequel to the Sacred Feminine Intensive, gathering my materials and learning what the expectations of the program are.  One element is practicing breathing, so i used that time to do so.  I did feel calmer, more relaxed and even the pressure in my bladder seemed to fade enough for me to feel more comfortable - certainly no small feat for a pregnant lady!    

The cake is almost done.  Ian was working on a flag when i left last night around 11PM.  Two pregnant ladies, up late on a Friday, exhausted and knowing there is more to go?  We weren't as sweet as the cake, let me tell you.  But!  I think it looks awesome.  It is also a vegan and gluten-free dessert, which definitely created a little bit of a learning curve.

When i got home i was exhausted, and quickly fell asleep.

Alas, sleep was fitfull - i woke up twice (again, darned need to pee!) and the cat was being a fussbudget, meowing and pawing at the door.  I only got a few hours of sleep.  Rather than toss and turn in bed, i woke up an hour and a half before the alarm.  I took time getting dressed, even lighting a candle and taking a pause.  I did a little puttering - emptying trash and straightening up.  Then i set some tea to steep, did a short prenatal yoga video and had my tea as i write this.

I feel very relaxed and ready to take on a day of cleaning, toddlers and sugar.

Returning with a New Self (In Progress)

I know, i know, yet another blog lying dormant and sad, unattended, unloved.

It's not my intention.  Other projects fight for my attention.  My family life gets busy.  Work requires my focus.

And i don't post.  And still don't post.  And then, forever & a day later, i remember a place i did a little writing.

Things look different in my world now.  I'm pregnant (yay!).  5 months along now.  I'm in a massive decluttering project thanks to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.  I'm attempting to connect to my spirituality & femininity in a different way through the The Sacred Feminine Intensive, part of the School of Feminine Transformation (S.O.F.T.) hosted by Namaste Moore.

Much of my life feels "in transition".  My body is transforming - my belly growing with the baby, my breasts changing in preparation, and my hormones shifting.  I feel softer, squishier and it's not all comfortable physically or emotionally.

My relationships are shifting.  Not just due to this pregnancy, but my loves are also pregnant (their 3rd!), and it brings with it new dynamics.  One partner is working through big life things.  My  husband is gearing up to add father to his identity and another partner is experiencing a different definition of fatherhood for himself.

My job is in transition.  I hope to take a leave of absence and return at part time.  Pregnancy is having an effect of my career.  I've been placed on desk duty to avoid exposure to the number of hazardous chemicals we work with.

And emotionally, spiritually, i feel new doors opening as others close.  A different connection to something greater than myself and a new sense of drive and creation.

We'll see if i end up blogging here more or not, but i did today.