The next exercise in Eating the Moment is an essay about hunger. Yesterday was the ideal day for the experiment. Often i don't eat breakfast or lunch during the course of the work day, particularly when i'm in the field for one reason or another, and it just so happened i got sent to the state library and DEEP.
Around noon i felt it, the uncomfortable rumbling in my belly. As i drove back to the office every billboard i passed with food seemed to be reminding me of how i was feeling, how much i wanted sugary, salty, fried whatever. I was determined to let myself feel this however.
The feeling in my stomach was fleeting. By mid-to late afternoon i was unable to focus, cranky and a little headachey. i was looking at recipes online, which only made things worse.
After work I made myself go to the grocery store, make up a salad at the salad bar and pick up some other things. I made better choices, but struggled against impulse buys because i wanted anything and everything to eat.
I made myself go for a walk after putting all the groceries away. It was the most emo walk ever - gray, slow, rainy, painful, crampy, cold, windy and full of angst. While some of this was in reaction to the weather and PMS, i suspect plenty of it was my body saying "ummm, remember me? i like fuel ya know!".
I tried to focus on what i was feeling because of the hunger. irritable, cranky, tired, distracted. My body felt heavy and slow. No wonder i often confuse tired and hungry!
When i got back i made my dinner, logging as i put things together. i didn't let myself eat until i had sat down with everything completed (and logged). It was very hard! I would of eaten just about anything and felt better, but taking the time to make a relatively healthy dinner (turkey burger, pop chips and a salad) felt good, and tasted good.
No wonder i often would grab whatever was fast and easy on the way home from work if i didn't eat breakfast or lunch. When i let myself get to that level of hungry anything will do, it doesn't have to be good for me!
The next awareness activity is to work on differentiating between cravings and hunger, so stay tuned as i keep learning.
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